Normally, we like to talk about progress in our writing. Every piece that we write, every book that we read, improves us mentally. What we normally don’t talk about is the other areas of our life. We’re anti-social and talking about any other area in our life is opening up to strangers, telling them things we would rather not have anyone know. It’s rather scary, but it’s a must if we want to move forward. It’s a must if we want to grow as individuals. It was scary at first when we started talking about our views on writing, too, but we have survived that. So, we’ll survive the other things, too.
We have lived in Pooler, GA, a suburb of Savannah, for a year and four months now. When we had first packed everything we could into a Kia Soul and either sold the rest or gave it away, we were super excited about starting a new adventure in our lives. When we arrived here from Casper, Wyoming that excitement was still with us for about a month. After that, we started to learn more about the city and the people who live here. I don’t want to say anything bad about the people here, but let’s suffice it to say, their way of life is not meant for us. There is very little we like here. We’ve been out to Tybee Island a few times and each time, we haven’t cared for it. The ocean is amazing yes, but it’s not what we want in life. After moving away from the mountains, we realized that we’re definitely mountain people. We thought we could be beach people. We’re not. Now, when we think about it, we chuckle.
Because of finding things out about the area we moved to and discovering how much we don’t like it in the south, I struggled emotionally. I still struggle and feel we made a huge mistake. Yep, some of our choices are going to be mistakes. Some of them will be successes. Unfortunately, we really don’t know which way it will go until we’ve made that choice. Should we fear decisions then? No. If we never do anything risky, nothing is ever gained. And if it turns out to be a mistake, it’s a life lesson. (Some are easier than others.) It also gives us the opportunity to know ourselves a little better. To know how we’ll deal with it. Making mistakes is natural. How we deal with them is a choice.
We had given up so much to be here, even a few of our beloved cats. We thought moving here would help me to avoid the long, cold winters of Wyoming. You see I have had a spinal fusion and I have arthritis in my back. We thought moving to a warmer climate was the right answer to get me out of pain. Not that I was in a whole lot back in Casper, especially when compared to now. After just that month of being here, the humidity started bothering me. I was in more pain than I was before and at first I was baffled at the reason. I was doing everything I should. Daily stretching. Walking. I soon discovered that the cold humidity made things worse. Because of that, I let myself stop walking and doing my daily stretches that are essential in keeping me limber. And, as you guessed it, the pain just kept getting worse and worse. I also started gaining weight, which didn’t help. Every once in a while, I would try to get back into the good habits I had before we moved. And then inevitably, I would start thinking, why bother? You’ll do these things and you’ll still be in pain. If I could go back in time, I would kick myself as hard as I could while yelling profanities at myself.
So far, for the last two and a half months I haven’t broken my routine. Whereas, I don’t feel too differently, I refuse to give into what I call “self-pity” again. Yes, I hate it here. Yes, it wasn’t what I expected. And yes, we will be moving eventually. (Hopefully soonish.) But that doesn’t give me leeway to do nothing. I will continue to walk and do my daily stretches. If I don’t, the alternative isn’t great. Through my family, I have seen what happens when you neglect yourself. I refuse to let myself do that. I am ashamed it took me this long to wrap my brain around it. Do I still struggle with wanting to do these things? YES! Will I continue to struggle with it? Probably. But every day that I don’t give into the negative side of me is progress and eventually I will win.
I have always struggled with being too negative in life, usually only in areas that concern myself. I see the good in other people way before I see the good in myself. I forgive other people long before forgiving myself. (There’s probably a lot of us like this out there.). This is something that irritates my husband. Want to know how I know that? He’s told me. I don’t remember how we got onto the subject, but we did. (Maybe a marital spat? Who knows?) He’s told me I’m too hard on myself. That I expect way too much and that the goals I set myself are usually unattainable and then I chastise myself for not reaching them. So, I’ve been working on setting achievable goals that are still hard to reach but not out of grasp. It’s been difficult to learn how to think differently. Sometimes, you just need to hear someone tell you the truth but that’s only if you’re willing to listen to it. If you’re not, then it will feel as if that person is attacking you and your way of life.
There will be times in your life that will be difficult. The key is not to give up. Giving up is too easy. Keep struggling. Eventually, you’ll see light ahead. We’re still in that dark tunnel, ourselves, but the more we do, the closer the light gets.
Although, I feel that moving to Savannah, GA was a mistake, I wouldn’t change it. Yes, we’ve struggled. Yes, I have personally struggled, tremendously, (several of the reasons aren’t listed here) and have been in more pain than I was when the goal was to lessen it. However, if we had stayed in the familiar, we would have never learned about the area. We would have never learned things about ourselves that would have never been revealed. It takes change to grow. Welcome change, even if it’s scary.